The Secret to always Communicating Authentically

Would you like to know the secret? It is very simple and once you know what the secret is and you practice this each day, you will always have fulfilling, authentic conversations.

Before I tell you the secret, I've created this little quiz for you to start thinking about how you communicate...

In the following situations, what would you do?

Choose one answer that best suits you per question.

1. You are having a conversation with a colleague, when they are talking you...

a) can't help but think about what you had for breakfast or your mind is on date that you are having tonight

b) about some thing you have done or need to do, you can't help but judge yourself or think that they are judging you

c) you are trying to hear what is behind their words and what they are actually saying

2. When you are talking to your partner about loading the dishwasher correctly, yet AGAIN, and you end up having an argument...

a) you don't understand why he / she still doesn't do it correctly because you keep on telling them how to do it and they still don't

b) you get angry and start expressing yourself in 'higher voice' ;)

c) you ask them why they still aren't packing the dishwasher correctly when they know it upsets you

3. You are sitting around the dinner table with your friends, enjoying a nice glass of wine...

a) you tell your vegan friend that they are missing out on this delicious steak and they really should be eating more protein because they look pale

b) your friend declines the bread with the meal and starts complaining about how much weight they have picked up and you feel really uncomfortable and anxious
c) and feel grateful to be there with your friends, pick up your glass of wine and say 'Sante mes amies'

Ok, so add up how many times you answed a, b and c...

If you answered mostly a)

When communicating, are you living in the present or are you focusing on the past?

One of the secrets to authentic communication is being aware of the past unconscious belief systems we hold about ourselves and others. When you are aware of these you can choose to communicate from these past imprints or create new belief systems. Your power is found in the present moment.

If you answered mostly b)

When communicating, are you letting your reactive emotions have control over you?

Another secret to authentic communication is being aware of what situations trigger which emotions, understanding where these emotions come from and doing some healing work around releasing emotions trapped in your body memory that no longer serve you. Your power is found in your ability to be still and reflect over what does and does not serve you any more.

If you answered mostly c)

When communicating, are you aware of the principle that there is 'your truth' , 'my truth' and 'the truth'.

The last secret I would like to share in this email about authentic communication is a principle, proposed in the Course in Miracles, about of how every thing is 'empty and meaningless' other than the meaning we attach to it. Your power is found in the awareness of how you can choose to attach any meaning you want to any situation.

Now that you are ready, let's go through these 7 Steps to Authentic Communication ... 

Step 1 : Conscious and Unconscious Expectations

What are your expectations and/ or intentions? Where are you communicating from?

When was the last time you truly listened to what some one was saying?

Do you know the difference between 'hearing' what some one is saying versus 'listening' to what they are saying? 

[Image 1 : Source eAgeTutor]

 2. What are the emotions attached to these expectations?

3. What is the reactive behaviour you usually exhibit associated with these  emotions? Body Language

4. When these expectations are not being met, what belief system is activated? What is the gift?

5. What is your truth in this? 

6. What do you need to do in order to attract more of what you want?

7. What vision are you holding moving forward for what honours you?

 Are you ready to find out the secret to authentic communication? 

The secret is : Conscious Awareness 

What is you were to think about each of these steps before and after each communication you have?

Now it's your turn, imagine a world where you feel free to fully express all of who you are in each conversation?